Lay down my wretched, aching and broken body. My mother weeps over me. I see her concerned and sad face, grey through her silent tears. A warm breeze. They wrap me in fresh diapers. And then silence and darkness inside this damp cave. The next day, to everyone’s suprise, I awake and walk about. Soon my father will call me to his side.
A sucking sound. Slurping. Gasping. I peep up and see a pretty chin dancing atop an erect cock. Both parties are moaning. A gasp, and hot semen shoots into her half open mouth. She gags. The sperm spills from her mouth, down her chin and into my eyes.
Maybe my belief in God is misplaced. What has he done for me? Only telling me that my suffering has a porpose. But exactly “what” purpose, he cannot say. I mean, what’s the fucking point? Create me, make me suffer, and then keep me in the dark about why. Well, fuck you! I shall covert. Become a Jew, Muslim….any fucking thing but not follow you.
Dear Lord, forgive me. Sometimes my suffering is greater than I can bare. I love you.
Long pretty fingers are stoking a pert little cunt inside my diapered body. I can smell it. And though life should be pretty damn good at this point….I’m filled with sadness and self loathing. How I wish it would just end.
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I feel dizzy as the model wiggles her ass this way and that. I spy a jar of vasaline. My side is opened and a throbbing red cock nudges againgsth the models’ puckered ass hole. With a gentle push, it eases in. The girl gasps and the guy grunts. She then slowly starts to ride the cock. I see everything as the light streams in through the sides of my opened diaper body. I look away and down in shame. Suddenly there’s some animated talking. Seconds later another cok appears, glissening, and in a single smooth and practiced stroke, inserts itself into the ass beside the other cock. Double anal! Both start fucking her violently. She screams. I can see blood. This is my “Jesus on the cross” moment.
A voice is calling through the darkness. My cotton filled ears strain to hear. God speaks to me. The hot tears of joy well up in my eyes. Then someone turns the TV off next door and it is silence.
I lay on the table open and awaiting the model. The sun shines through the window and it plays it’s dappled light across the white fluffyness of my body. And for just a fleeting moment, I saw the sun rising over white clouds.

Working today. In the darkness my senses go to high alert. Though I can see nothing, my other senses are hightened. And so this is why I can smell the faint whiff of citrus. The distant taste of valencian oranges. The rich perfume of the Spanish countryside. When the work is finished and I am opened, I see and orange seed has been squeezed out.
- Published:September 15th, 2009
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I wake up to the sound of rain againgst the window. I am falling into the grey damp sadness of the lonely. Who will save me? Who will care for me?
A girks voice says “I am Trudie”. She goes on to talk ofher oyfriend, other porn jobs and, of course, the all important “money”. On being told the fee, she hurtfully says tha she’ll not demean herself to wear a diaper for so little cash. But I have seen her soul. She has bills to pay for her loser boyfriend, a monthly car payment to make on that stupidly expensive car she bought toshow off to her needy friends, and a cocaine habit tofeed. Oh….and she is a complete idiot! In the end, I ave to smile as the photographer ends up fucking her in a diaper, and in the ass to boot. Drinks are on te house!
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