Damn. I knew what was coming when the chick took off her panties in order to get me, her diaper, on. Caught a glimse out the very corner of my eye. Lesser diaper eyes would have just seen a pair of panties being thrown to the floor. I know the truth is out there. I can see the big picture. And quite frankly it depresses me. I try and compose myself. But the fleeting sight of that brown skid mark has me all undone. Dear Lord, what have I done? How have I offended you? That you should let me fall so far? I want to believe.
Dreamt I was a cloud. Fluffy and sparkling white. Like in an ad for something clean and fresh. Like a new diaper. Something beautiful. I could feel the breeze. I passed other clouds. We were all smiling. Looking up the blue sky beckoned. But looking down, well, there was just nothingless nothing. I didn’t care. I could feel God beside me. My eyes brimmed with tears. I am loved.
Working for www.diapersexvideo.com is not the walk in the park you might imagine. Often-times the models aren’t too bright and try to put me on backwards. Then they can’t follow simple instructions, only given 10 seconds ago, as to how to do up the diaper.
How the guy holding the camera copes God only knows, cause I know I feel pretty depressed. When it’s all over, and I’m lying in the trash looking up at the ceiling, I long to tell someone, anyone. I’ve seen things you wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in the rain. And then the assistant closes the trash bag and darkness falls and all is gone. Time to die.
Was telling myself to be positive and strong this morning. The photo assistant left me out so I was able to have a good look around. So there I was, a diaper, spread eagled on the make up table, with this kinda hot chick doing her face beside me. The sun streamed through the open window and dappled me with warmth. I could see the trees swaying in the breeze, with blue skies and tiny fluffy clouds. I closed my eyes. I shall make the effort to carry on living. I shall be positive and strong. Her delicate hands lift me up to her oh so pretty face. I look dreamily into her eyes. She blows her nose on me. I am dead.
I know that God hates me. Yesterday I woke up in a twink party. That’s right, lots of gays. They all played a disgusting game, involving all of them jerking off into me (just the smell makes me wanna hurl) and then they formed a circle and passed me around from clenched butt cheek to clenched butt cheek. Who-so-ever dropped me, had to eat the contents. Really great for the ego, staring some sweaty fag in the eye whilst being eaten off, and him being fucked at the same time. Sweet Jesup…and there are people who think diaper sex (that’s NORMAL diaper sex) is weird! Between hot tears, I prayed for deliverence. Non came. God hates me.
Speaking to another diaper the other day, he said that he had a friend, who knew a diaper who went racing. WTF! Apparently those Formula 1 drivers need to wear a diaper as they can’t exactly stop for a leak during the race. His mate said that he got that Hamilton guy. (Yeah, I’m calling bullshit on the whole story as well). No word on whether it was a pee or poop. He said he fancied being worn by that Thomas Criuse, in TopGun, but joked he’d still be too small even as a baby size. And I’m stuck doing diaper porn. Life sucks!
Once in a dream, or I think I was dreaming, I asked God: Why a diaper? And why me? He said that basically there were a limited number of choices. Tampon, dental floss, butt plug, nasal hair remover, anal lube or diaper-only-used-in-sex. Of course he wasn’t exactly too forthcoming about the fine print, you know, the nitty-gritty. Sometime later after I gone down the diaper route, I tried to strike a conversation with a butt plug, only to find we didn’t speak the same language. Like the Tower of Babel, I guess God was afraid of what we might do if we ever reached him. Fucker.
Another day, another shoot. I was on some chick with the finest skin. Her arse was like totally smooth, not one zit rubbing up againgst me. No scars (I get kinda grossed out when wrapped around an old appendix wound). She had a shaven pussy. And was using a really nice perfume. Girls like that are few and far between. I started to feel positive for the first time in God knows how long. Nice hands as well. Stroking my diaper body and working down to her pussy. And then…Whoooh! Light come streaming in and there’s some ugly guys face right there, in MY face. He starts tonguing her twat. His breath is awful. I think I must of passed out.
I woke up lying next to another diaper. Apparently we were on the set of a porno shoot for www.diapersexvideos.com. Sick fucks! He’s excited about shooting his scene. Because I don’t want to piss on his parade, I say nothing, but try and hide the sadness behind my eyes. And then he’s gone. I must of slept, because I was awakened to the sound of crying. Beside me. He was muttering about how degraded he felt, how dirty and how he just wanted to die. Then we were both silent for the longest time. When it was my turn, I could only shrug with a weak smile as I caught the look of utter sadness in his eyes. I never saw him again.
Diapersexvideos, Diapersexvideos, Diapersexvideos. The bastards. Each one leaving some poor diaper covered in those disgusting human bodily fluids, painfully torn and broken in body and spirit. Used up and thrown over the wall. And some of them were me.Though I pray for it, death never comes.
