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I day dream of the place of my birth. Under the bight light and whirring machines, of the diaper factory I was concieved and born. Everything was so clean and white. I was amongst all my brothers and sisters there. We laughed and giggled. How earnest and young we were. Through all the subsequent years of suffering and pain I often try to picture my mother and father. But the image seems just out of reach. I don’t know what to feel, but I feel I miss them.
The Lord is my shepherd: I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in white diapers, he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my pads: he leadeth me in the paths of diaperness for his name’s sake,
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of porn, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me, thy dildo and butt plug they comfort me.
Thou preparest a video before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointed my head with piss; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
- Published:September 24th, 2008
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Was diapering a model yesterday who was then using a vibrator through my open body. As there was only the smallest opening, I couldn’t really see anything of the world outside. So I retreated into my own. I found myself watching a pubic hair that had become stuck to the stickness of the toy. Up and down, in and out it went, unable to do anything. It made me think of the futility of it all. People join www.diapersexvideos.com to look at diapers, and yet why I am I treated with such distain. Just used and thrown away. I give happiness and pleasure. But know one cares about my happiness. Why can’t they share the love? At that point she squirted some disgusting cunt juice all over me. The hair was gone. And I knew that in a few moments I would be too.
- Published:September 21st, 2008
- Comments:1 Comment
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Diapered some chick who was on an exercise machine, one of those cross country trainer affairs. As she ran, I could feel the insides of her thighs chaffing againgst me. I can’t say it was too unpleasent. The sweat from her body started to run down and be absorbed. Some poeple must of come into the room at that point. I felt ashamed. I knew they were talking of me, as they mentioned “diaper” and then they all laughed. I wanted to die. I was so relieved when they finally left. But then she pissed. God my life stinks.
- Published:September 19th, 2008
- Comments:1 Comment
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Once I woke in a garbage dump. I must of been lying in an open bag or container or something. I could see other diapers lying around me. And I could see the sky. Seagulls flew about me. A gentle breeze blew rustling the rubbish about me. It must of smelt pretty bad, but I wasn’t aware of it. Just the sensation of the sun on my diapered face. Man, it was heaven. I felt the tears coming, welling up in my grateful eyes. I wanted to say “Thankyou”. But the thought had barely crossed me mind, when the lid came down, and through all the screams I realised I was in a crusher. Goodbye cruel world.
- Published:September 17th, 2008
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Another day, another shoot for www.diapersexvideos.com. Found myself face to face with a cock jamming itself into some tight shaven cunt. As it moved in and out, the little asshole moved in unison, but up and down. And I could see a little piece of poop making its way out. Just what I fucking need. A couple of hard strokes and the shit fell, just missing my eye. Then the guy pulls out and sperms all over me, so I’m blinded anyway. My life sucks.
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- Published:September 14th, 2008
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I’m told that God’s love is universal and given to all. It’s not true. For the eternity I’ve spent embodying the diapers used in sex videos, I have never once experienced his love. Only suffering. I want to beleive. I want to love him. But with every shit, every piss and sperm bath, with all the perversions heaped on me, I can only push him further away, as he does me. And yet, and yet, in my moments of utter despair and darkness, why do I find myself praying to him?
I made a friend today. We were both on a shoot for www.daipersexvideos.com. When they opened me to fit me to the model, I briefly saw him lying there on the sofa next to her knee. After the horrible work, I was cast off and we lay together. I noticed that his diaper body has been badly torn. I had some rips myself. But all this was forgotten in our disbelief at having some company. We chatted for a while. Time stood still. I think we even laughed. But then a shadow moved across him, and in an instant he was bundled up, thrown in the trash and gone. No time for goodbyes. As they picked me up to use me again, I could see nothing through the blur of tears.
Who are these silent and faceless people who watch from on the Internet. I am just an abused and sad diaper. Some say that having so many fantasizing and masturbating over me should make me feel loved and wanted. I am desired. A diaper of worth. A shining beacon in the dark world of Adult Babies. But I’m still sad. I’m only wanted for my body….not my mind. Men are so shallow.
Working for www.diapersexvideo.com is not the walk in the park you might imagine. Often-times the models aren’t too bright and try to put me on backwards. Then they can’t follow simple instructions, only given 10 seconds ago, as to how to do up the diaper.
How the guy holding the camera copes God only knows, cause I know I feel pretty depressed. When it’s all over, and I’m lying in the trash looking up at the ceiling, I long to tell someone, anyone. I’ve seen things you wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in the rain. And then the assistant closes the trash bag and darkness falls and all is gone. Time to die.
