The Noble Truth of Suffering is this: Birth is suffering, ageing is suffering, sickness is suffering, death is suffering; sorrows and lamentation, pain, grief and despair are suffering; association with the unpleasant is suffering, dissociation from the pleasant is suffering; not to get what one wants is suffering – in short, the five aggregates of attachment are suffering. Fuck that! And I thought I had it bad.
God, you are great. You made the world and it’s good. Thank you for making it so beautiful, and we are sorry that we have spoiled it. Amen.
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Someone opens me up and then places me on the head of a model. I am held tighly against her head and around her face. And then, as night follows day, a guy starts to violently fuck her in the mouth. She is gagging. I see tears streaming down her pretty face. He then grunts and shoots into her mouth. She splutters, gags and vomits. Welcome to my world.
I am told that there exist a web site where all the ordeals I have suffered are on display for all to see. To think of all those shameful videos flying around the world. All those people looking at me, fantasizing and then jerking off. The very idea fills me with shame.
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After an eon of tugging and pulling, I am opened. Still sitting on me is the model, who then opens the front of me and I then see the camera lens thrust into my face. And her pussy. I quickly try to peer pass the photographer into the studio, but the camera is too close. And then, in a second, I am closed up again. Returned to the darkness. The last thing I remember is the word “Panasonic”.
As I was carried into todays shoot, I became aware that the photo assistant was speaking to me. That’s right….to me! Telling me how good I was, how clever and fresh. How smart I looked, and how, through my work, I was bringing true happiness and joy to many people. That I was loved and desired. And you know what? I almost fell for it. I almost believed her. But I really saw through it all the moment the shoot was over and she just bundled me up and threw me in the trash.
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Was telling myself to be positive and strong this morning. The photo assistant left me out so I was able to have a good look around. So there I was, a diaper, spread eagled on the make up table, with this kinda hot chick doing her face beside me. The sun streamed through the open window and dappled me with warmth. I could see the trees swaying in the breeze, with blue skies and tiny fluffy clouds. I closed my eyes. I shall make the effort to carry on living. I shall be positive and strong. Her delicate hands lift me up to her oh so pretty face. I look dreamily into her eyes. She blows her nose on me. I am dead.
