- Published:September 12th, 2008
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Today the assistant opened me for use, but then decided againgst using me, but only closed me up alittle. So, I was lying there, awake, but with not enough of a gap to see out clearly. Because I long to see the world, a world that I know lies outside of diapersexvideos, a free world. One full of laughter and fun, of children and little birds and ice cream and picnics in the park with cute kittens. But from here I can just make out the back of a chair. Life is so cruel. God really does hate me. Let me sleep and never wake up.
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Diaper sex with two chicks. The other diaper is so excited but I try and stay cool. These gigs are never that straight forward. Soon I can see the chicks tongue as she moves me to one side and starts on the other chicks pussy. I can see her eye lashes, see into her mouth and feel her hot breathe on me. I can see the small hairs in her nose and see where the mascara is slightly smudged. I try to see beyond her face, into the real world I so miss, but she’s just too close. After some time they stop and I hear the word “poop” mentioned. They need only one girl to do the do. I know that if I pray for it NOT to be me, it’ll be me. So, I pray to make it me. Dear Lord, hear this pray. Help your diapered son in his hour of need. I guess I have “short straw puller” written on me. Yes, the girl shits on me. I want to turn away, but am forced open for the camera, and thus the world, to see. Whatever I did before, in my past life, I take it back. Just make this stop. Please.
Damn. I knew what was coming when the chick took off her panties in order to get me, her diaper, on. Caught a glimse out the very corner of my eye. Lesser diaper eyes would have just seen a pair of panties being thrown to the floor. I know the truth is out there. I can see the big picture. And quite frankly it depresses me. I try and compose myself. But the fleeting sight of that brown skid mark has me all undone. Dear Lord, what have I done? How have I offended you? That you should let me fall so far? I want to believe.
Dreamt I was a cloud. Fluffy and sparkling white. Like in an ad for something clean and fresh. Like a new diaper. Something beautiful. I could feel the breeze. I passed other clouds. We were all smiling. Looking up the blue sky beckoned. But looking down, well, there was just nothingless nothing. I didn’t care. I could feel God beside me. My eyes brimmed with tears. I am loved.
