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Someone is crying. A model sits nearby, gently rocking herself, and I can see the tears streaming down her face. Both sadness and a certain desperation are written on her brow. And then I spy an open laptop, and on it a picture of her doing unspeakable things whilst wearing a diaper. Now I see the whole picture. her pain, or rather the pain of her shame, cheers me up. I find myself smiling. Such a rare thing!
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As I lay on the studio table, I can spy the model doing her make-up. She really is quite the prettiest thing I have seen for a long time. She is telling the photographer about her dreams for her modelling career. This is just a stepping stone she says. Bigger, brighter and better things await in the shining future. She is so sure. The photographer exchanges a meaningful and yet sad look with his assistant. For porn will be the ruin of any career. I think this dawns on her during the shoot. Afterwards I can hear her crying softly in the changing room.
“I’m not wearing that!” exclaimed a girls voice from the direction of the studio. I can only guess that she is talking about me. But though my eelings are a little hurt, I a at the same time relived as I am bundled up and put into the storage cupboard to await another day.
A blinding light awakes me. Strangley it’s coming through my padded body. And it is bright. I strain to listen, but hear nothing. Just me and this blinding light. And then it comes to me….maybe this is it! The final flight. Doesn’t everyone always talk about going towards the light. That last journey into the arms of GOd. I can feel his warmth. Tears come. I am saved. It is over. Suddenly the light is extinguished. I’m opened and can now see that I’m resting under a studio lamp. My God is cruel.
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