I am Diaper

• Published:October 28th, 2008
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Almost got used yesterday. But a brave and selfless pair of plastic pants stepped in and made the right impression. I returned to darkness.

• Published:October 25th, 2008
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Girl/Girl….that is two chicks doing the do to/with each other….but in diapers.At some point they are both sitting on me rubbing their disgusting cunts on my padded body. They then pull each other’s cunt lips apart (why?) and give me a view only a butcher could appreiciate. Some sort of whitish gunk starts comming out of one of them. In a perfect world, it would be snowing.

• Published:October 22nd, 2008
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Sometimes in my darkest moments I try and cheer myself up by imagining that I have a child. I don’t know if “it” is human, but I only hope he is not a diaper, following in his fathers footsteps. When he was a baby, how happily I could diaper him, and then again, when he’s very old.

• Published:October 20th, 2008
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In the darkness I could only smell. Something I’m not quite sure what…but it does kind of remind me of the smell of cat! Yes, I can feel hairs all over me.And I seem to be lying in some sort of flat container.Next thing I feel are soft paws. I suddenly wake up to find myself staring up at a cats arse. I don’t understand.But as I see the shit appearing, I realise that I’m being used in the cat litter tray. From suffering one type of pussy to another one. How much lower can I go?

• Published:October 13th, 2008
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    It’s so hot and claustriphobic in here, I can barely stand it. It smells of cheap perfume and cheaper cunt. A cock is pressing up againgst the outside of me. I can hear someone crying. After what feels like an eternity of suffering, the smell of hot piss fills my small enclosure. The crying gets louder. And only when the sound fills my ears do I realize, that it’s me, crying from my very soul for all the unendourable that I endour.

• Published:October 11th, 2008
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When first awakened from my heavy slumber, my only sense is that of the muffled voices nearby. It is during this time that I get to know the names of the soon to be wearer. My companions through this dark journey. My giver of light. My deliverer of piss and shit. So…Sharon, Helen, Sarah, Rebbecca and all the rest of you, thankyou for giving me life, and Fuck You for all the other stuff you give.

• Published:October 8th, 2008
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Immortality. I often wonder as to the nature of it, with particular regard to myself and more so, my predicament. I’m pretty sure that all the people I so briefly glimse in my moments of conciousnes will all die. I mean that the nature of people. But not I. Do I have many lives or just this continuos one? It’s true, I have no clear memory of those before, and yet each new situation seems somehow familiar. It’s deeper than deja vu. At least, unlike Connor MacLeod in Highlander, I shall be spared the pain of watching those I love grow old and perish. Still, on a positive note, though my life is absolute shit, at laest I’m not Scottish!

• Published:October 3rd, 2008
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Feeling very down today. In the darkness I heard a song playing. Something sad and maudlin. I think of my life, trapped in the body of a diaper, and of all the things I’ve seen and experienced. All the suffering and shame. I become aware that the music has stopped some time ago. But I must go on. And so I wait.

• Published:September 30th, 2008
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Woken from my diaper slumber today by being opened up by the video lights hurting my eyes. Looking that way I’m faced with an ugly cunt with lips like a Lancaster Bombers bomb doors, and then looking the other way, another ugly cunt (a guys face) about to descend. His eyes are popping out of his fugly mug, and soon I can feel the stubble, as I look up his nose. Sweet Jesup, he spits into the chick. Some falls on me. I can see bits of food in it. And so starts another day in Hell.

• Published:September 16th, 2008
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I dream that I’m on a ship in a storm. The ship is sinking. People are running around like crazed rats. The water starts to spill onto the deck. I shout but my voice is lost in the wind. I must find a life boat. But then I look down and see that I am a diaper. I am immobile. The icey water creeps towards me. With all my might I will mysef to move but to no avail. The water touches my padding and starts slowly being absorbed. Its coldness tingles. The next wave takes me off the deck and into the heaving sea. And then I am sinking. Falling into the darkness. And for a fleeting moment the sadness is lifted.